This last bit of this series of posts is just a bit of fun, to revisit our friends from earlier in the series, A and B, and see how they got on. You will remember that they are a gay couple who used to enjoy weekday nights snuggled on the sofa in front of a movie with a pizza and a bottle of wine, until A decided he needed to get fit and lose some weight. His subsequent decision to give up pizza and wine in favour of salad and the gym caused some friction with B, who missed their snuggly intimate evenings and his week night pizza and wine treat and felt unloved as a result, which led to rows and unhappiness. So what happened?
Well, maybe A had a wise kind friend or counsellor who helped him to see that B wasn’t being difficult, he was just struggling a little with change. As a result A suggested that B come along to the gym with him and that they both go for a pizza afterwards. B grudgingly agreed to try this, so long as he could use the swimming pool, sauna and hot tub rather than the gym (it was a rather plush health club) and that they definitely got a pizza as well. And so this became their new habit.
As B breast-stroked up and down in the slow lane and sat in the hot tub, he would watch the front crawl swimmers swiftly thrashing up and down the fast lane and think “I could never do that”. But one day he saw a young man giving a swimming lesson to a middle-aged woman. She could barely swim a stroke, but as week followed week she got better until she too was swimming a rather elegant front crawl. Hmmm, he thought, and when the lesson was over, he approached the young man and tentatively asked about lessons for himself. Why, yes! Of course it would be possible. They could start next week, if he would like. And so B began to learn to swim front crawl.
And learn he did. And he found that he liked it. He started accompanying A to the gym a bit more often so that he could practise his drills, and, once the course of lessons was over, he joined the gym swim squad so he could carry on training. And to his surprise he really enjoys it. He started at the back of the slow lane but he’s getting faster, he’s made some new friends and there’s even talk of him joining a gay swimming club called Out to Swim.
A is delighted because they’re both fitter and slimmer, and on the evenings they go to the gym together they pop into the local Italian afterwards for supper. B finds he feels just as loved and secure after one of their gossipy suppers as he did when they stayed in in front of the telly, and sometimes he even orders a salad. Which is proof that even painful and unwanted change can open doors for us that we didn’t know were there and lead to new and positive ways of being that the old us could never even have imagined.