So where does the blog go now? There is still stuff I want to write about – I promised Fiona I’d write about my garden, for instance, and the experience of having it professionally “done” and how that turned out. I have a whole heap of “Things I should be more Zen about” (People who come to a dead halt blocking the pavement because they’re looking at their phones! Supermarkets! Cold callers who want to help me sue for whiplash! “Your call is important to us”! Why bl**dy clothes manufacturers can’t just agree on a standard set of sizes! WH Smith trying to sell me five kilos of chocolate when I’m only trying to buy a newpaper! Gendered yoghurt and similar fuckwittery! Ian Duncan-Smith! OK, maybe not those last two. I shouldn’t be Zen about those last two. I should be REALLY ANGRY AND NOT PREPARED TO PUT UP WITH IT ANY MORE!!!!).
And I haven’t yet written about feminism and being a feminist, or about the next series of The Great British Bake Off, or about poetry, or enough about swimming, and I DEFINITELY haven’t written enough about cats. So the blog will continue. But there are some other things I want to write as well. I have a half-plotted story about a fairy godmother wants to retire and is looking for someone to take over her wand which I want to write. And last night in an exchange on Facebook with the estimable Miss Nicky Smith and her colleague in rep, Mr José Arroyo (The roar of the greasepaint! The smell of the crowd!), a character appeared from my subconscious, a juggling, hypnotising, card-trick practising vaudevillian alpaca and his quest for theatrical greatness.
I have a feeling there could be something to be discovered by exploring this further via the correspondence between the alpaca’s agent and the managers of various theatrical venues (“OK, one bag of guinea-pig hay, half a pound of pony nuts, his name the same size as the dancing dog and he gets to do his card tricks in the interval”). And if you think this sounds mad, may I remind you that there is a highly successful comedy series on Radio 4 which consists of the love letters between Wellington’s warhorse Copenhagen and Napoleon’s stallion Marengo (“Kiss kiss, hoofprints.”).
However, would an episodic story written in three or four paragraph chunks work on this blog? Maybe. But I may also set up an alternative blog (A Mouse’s Belch, maybe?) to write the fiction and move between the two. That way, I can continue posting most days, whilst also getting to write something a tiny bit more substantial than a daily blog post. Who knows, it could even become a novel – I’m sure the publishing world can barely wait for “Alpaca Up Your Troubles – one herbivore’s quest for theatrical greatness”…..
Tomorrow, back to Swim, Swimmy Swim.