The benefit of acknowledging to myself that my life was (and is) the way it is because I’ve made it be that way is that it returned choice and control to me. For a start, it got rid of my story that I “had” to go to my friend’s social event; I didn’t. I could, quite legitimately, have responded “Thank you, it sounds lovely and normally I would have loved to have come, but I’ve been really busy recently and I need a night in. But I hope you have a lovely time and that we can catch up another time soon.” There – no muss, no fuss. And once I had that option available to me, I really could make a free choice to go, rather than feeling that I had no option but to go and make the best of it.
The other benefit of doing it this way was that it freed me up to acknowledge that all of my busyness was more or less self-imposed. Almost everything I was doing was my own choice, and therefore I could change it. Which, in fact, I did; I decided that there were a couple of things in the diary which, lovely as they would have been to go to, would just be too expensive in terms of not leaving me enough downtime, and I therefore changed my plans to accommodate more of it.
By contrast, trying to feel more positive about those social events when I really needed not to go to them wasn’t really giving me a choice about what I did.
And I have to confess that at this point I come to a bit of a full stop – I’m not really sure where this goes or how it relates to introversion. However, I do have some thoughts, so bear with me and I’ll try to get them into some sort of order before tomorrow.