Number 4, Swimming

I have banged on a lot about swimming in this blog, so I don’t propose to do so any more, as those who are swimmers don’t need telling and those who aren’t will probably end up a bit cross-eyed. So I won’t go on about how much I enjoy it, the happiness of finding a sport that is also a hobby that is a community that is also a pleasure, the rewards that come with improving, the many lovely friends I have made, the sense of achievement it gives me, the beautiful places it has taken me, the glory that is Tooting Bec Lido. No. But I do want to write something about swimming, and this morning in the sauna we were talking about temperatures and, as I have been thinking about it for a bit, I thought I would propose a technical cold water temperature terminology.

Now, at this point I should add that this is in no way a serious temperature scale. That has already been most successfully proposed by Donal Buckley, the Lone Swimmer, on his blog and widely adopted. I am also aware that for every cold-water swimmer who agrees with this, there will be approximately seven hundred and twenty eight who won’t. So this is, really, just a bit of fun.

Above 20°: You are in an indoor pool. If you’re not training, get out at once and go and swim somewhere proper.
18°- 20°: This would be glorious, except at these temperatures the water will be filled with that dreaded summer pollutant, THE PUBLIC. Probably best to stick to the race, or go and find a lake or something.
15°-17°: Too cold for most of the public, feels like bliss to the experienced cold-water swimmer. Technical term, perfect.
14°: Pleasant
13°: Refreshing
12°: Possibly a bit cool
11°: Cool, rising brisk
10°: Brisk
9°: On the chilly side
8°: Definitely chilly
7°: Flipping chilly
6°: Parky
5°: Pretty parky
4°: Seriously parky
3°: Officially cold. Yep, it’s here.
2°: Well cold
1°: Bloody cold
0°: Gordon Bennett
– 0.5°: Freezing
– 1°: Fricking freezing
– 1.5°: Fricking bloody freezing
> – 1.5°: Fruz

More tomorrow.