Very random this morning, inspired by something I heard in the street. No idea if it will work, but this blog is about experimenting, so here goes.
– They keep saying I can have the bathroom half price if I get the kitchen from them and I keep telling them that I don’t want a new bathroom.
– It’s a little blue flower like that geranium but it’s not a geranium.
– I said, you’d be better off talking to him about all this stuff, and she said, I can’t talk to him about this sort of thing, and I said, well, that should tell you a lot.
– It’s that feeling you get when you wake up at four in the morning and there are people talking outside and they don’t go away.
– Nobody wants to see your underpants selfie.
– It’s a nice pair of shoes, but I don’t want to buy them to wear them once and then throw them away.
– I can do the shift pattern every other day but I can’t do it on Sundays because I can’t get there till after church.
– There’s no point in getting a two-bedroom flat if all you’re going to use it for is dirty laundry.
– I didn’t mind until I found out that she’d barfed behind the TV.
– They think it’s going to be like the Archers, they don’t realise there’ll be nothing to do except garden. It’s why people in the country have so many affairs.
– Sometimes I think that all I need in my whole life to be happy is an afternoon nap.
– When did it become OK to have your bra-straps showing?
– If they vote yes it’ll be like Ireland after the potato famine.
– Some people do the washing-up in the evening and some people do it in the morning. It depends how you feel.
– There are so many bedbugs in New York now, apparently you can catch them just from sitting on the tube.
– It’s better here than in Croydon.
Don’t know about you, but I quite enjoyed that. 🙂